"Learning is light!" - many parents repeat to their children. However, these words alone are not enough. For a student to truly want to learn, parents must help him not only understand the need for learning, but also understand that it can be interesting.
Why doesn't he want to study?
The first step to success is realizing the scale of the problem. If a child has a difficult day, and he simply does not find the strength to do his homework, this does not mean at all that it is time to “ring the bells” and lecture him that the profession of a janitor awaits him. The most important thing to do in the first place is to understand for what reasons the child does not want to learn.
The most common ones are the following:
Types of motivation
Psychologists distinguish two types of motivation: negative and positive.
- Negative motivation to any kind of activity involves the presence of a negative incentive. For example, it may be fear of punishment for refusing to engage in this activity.
- Positive (constructive) motivation means orientation towards any positive stimulus.
Which type of motivation is the most effective? To answer this question, let's immediately associate it with the "carrot and stick" method. You've probably already guessed that the stick is negative motivation and the carrot is positive.
The "whip method" is not acceptable in any situation, and even more so in relation to a child. Even if, for example, threats of punishment for poor grades force a child to study better, then this is only an external result. The feeling of discomfort and constant fear will shackle the baby, and he will approach his studies formally. 
Examples of negative motivation include:
- parental exaggeration of the importance of grades;
- positioning learning as a duty;
- tricks, blackmail and intimidation.
It is also necessary to constructively stimulate the student to study correctly, so it is worth dwelling in more detail on specific methods of positive motivation.
How to motivate your child to study
It is a mistake to believe that only a teacher should interest a child in learning. Each student is individual, the teacher simply will not have time to find an approach to everyone during the lesson, so students should want to learn, only then they will be interested.
What techniques can parents use to increase their child's interest in learning activities?
The main thing that a parent can give to his child is love and support. Only a child surrounded by sincere love will achieve success in any endeavor.
Hello dear readers! Yesterday you yourself asked for another 5 minutes, sometimes you skipped school, and today you will wake up your child to study. You, like no one, now understand that it is not enough just to go to classes. I would like to also like it. This is the secret of a happy life.
Today we will analyze how to motivate a child to study, advice from a psychologist and loving parents who have managed to achieve certain success in this field.
Speak, answer, support
If a child asks a question, is interested in something, do not send him to ask Google. Even if you yourself do not know the answer, be involved in his problem. Ask to bring a dictionary, an encyclopedia, so that together with it you can find the answer to the question.
Show that you are encouraging his interest. The learning process can be interesting and you can and should learn something together. The next time a teenager does not have enough attention, he will not be satisfied, but will work on some topic that unites you and tells you his results.
Even at the age of 14-15, you can interest your child in new facts. Spend some time on the Internet, look at what the human body is capable of, find funny historical facts about the life of Napoleon or Alexander the Great, throw him a book that you yourself recently read. Very soon you will understand what the child is most interested in and support this desire in him.
Have a common thread for your conversations. Children are always very happy to spend time with their parents. You are much more developed, you have experience. Give your teen new facts that they never thought of before.
For example, if you saw that he reads “ Crime and Punishment”Dostoevsky or this book is just lying on his desk, share your impressions, ask how he himself relates to it. You can even sit down and read it yourself, opening it on your phone while he is fascinated by the paper version.
Watch a historical film with him. Prepare in advance, look on the Internet for any inaccuracies in it. For example, in one of the frames of the movie "Braveheart", you can see a plastic bottle and a car. Get your teenager involved in this game. This will not only motivate him to learn, but will also develop a good one.
Environment
At 12 years old, children are very dependent on society. They like to communicate. Encourage the child to be surrounded by people interested in the same things as himself. Write it down in. If friends study well and achieve success, then he will try to match them.
Remember, not all children are born for sports. Before you force your child to go to the section, see what he is really interested in. Perhaps music or painting is closer to him. Even if he likes to grow plants or take care of animals - try to find the appropriate section.
Not all of us become Olympic champions. Your goal now should not be to realize your own unfulfilled dreams, but to develop discipline, socialization and create a favorable environment around the child.
If he doesn't want to go anywhere, offer him to make his dream come true in exchange for 5 lessons. After he fulfills his part of the obligations, realize his desire. Then ask if he wants to get something else for 5-10 hikes or if he really doesn't like this section and you should pick up something else.
A child, starting from the age of 10, is able to make decisions. If you treat them with understanding, then your relationship will turn out much better. will be comfortable while children.
Never push when it comes to hobbies. There are so many interesting things in the world, I am sure that among this variety there will be something that your child will really like. Even if he loves computer games - take it right, do not shout and insist, do not prove that he is wasting time. Thousands of adults are doing the same thing, and this little man is only 12.
Offer a programming or 3D modeling class. Perhaps it is in this area that he wants to develop and subsequently achieve success.
School
Sometimes children are reluctant to go to school because of an unfavorable environment. If the class is weak, then it will not have the desire to stand out. Try to learn as much as you can about school life. Who is, with whom the child is friends. If you do not ask direct questions, you will only benefit and get really truthful answers.
In general, try to communicate with him as an adult more often. Imagine being asked, "Are you being bullied at work?" Agree, you would not answer either, even if it were true. This humiliates a person, makes him weak. Perhaps you managed to raise a brave, strong man who wants to cope with adversity on his own.
And here is the question: “Who do you study with? Who do you like there and why? " - will give a better chance of getting a valid assessment of the situation.
Take your time to deal with teachers and students, you can only make things worse. Help him and ask if he can cope on his own. Decide whether to intervene or not, depending on the circumstances, should not harm your child.
If you do something too often, you provoke him to hide the truth from you. Like any person, he does not want to lose control of the situation. Try to discuss more, find out what exactly he wants, and only as a last resort, when there is no other way out, act.
I can recommend you the book by Pag Dawson " Your child can do anything". It helps to discover and develop organizational skills. She will help you identify strengths and weaknesses, balance weaknesses, suggest ways to develop the necessary skills, such as discipline, and even teach you how to communicate with him during difficult life situations.
Well, the last piece of advice I can give you is never humiliate a teacher's authority in the eyes of a child. This certainly does not contribute to the fact that he wants to receive information from his mouth. If mom doesn't approve of him, then why should the baby?
OK it's all over Now. Until next time and don't forget to subscribe to the newsletter.
What is happiness? Every person wants to be happy, successful, healthy and beautiful. But often happiness is not a big responsibility, hundreds of subordinates and an impressive salary. Happiness is the ability to do what you love, enjoy it day in and day out, and get income from it. Why do we live if a person is forced to go to an unloved job every day, patiently waiting for the end of the working day? Why study is necessary if it is boring, difficult and incomprehensible, if there are no friends there, and the teacher is too strict? What is this pastime for? Today we will talk about motivation for a child. You need to go to school, this is indisputable. But how do you make this process easy and fun? How to captivate a child so that he goes to school with pleasure and is happy to acquire new knowledge?
How to instill in your child a love of learning
Modern parents from the very birth try to make a comprehensively developed personality out of a child. From infancy, they are dragged to development centers, from the age of three they are given to sports sections, they are engaged in languages and creativity. It's one thing when a child likes one thing. And another thing, when the kid looks like a trapped horse, he has no time to just get bored, walk on the street, laze around. But the mother feels great - she makes a successful person out of the child. But often children burn out quickly, do not want to do anything, even school lessons are no longer interesting to them. To make learning a joy, you need to know several motivational aspects that should be applied regularly.
Use knowledge
Let your child take advantage of what he has already learned. After all, who would like a boring theory? If your toddler already knows the bill, let him or her count the value of the items purchased at the store. Conduct physical and chemical experiments at the household level. The fun part is using the language. If you have the opportunity to meet an unfamiliar native speaker, don't miss it, be sure to talk to him. It can be a passenger in the next seat on the plane, a foreigner in the square - anyone. The main thing is that the person has a positive attitude.
Learn to learn
The process of obtaining information is also important. If the child gets everything ready-made, learning becomes boring and uninteresting. Sometimes the child asks mom or dad to explain something that the parents themselves do not remember. In such cases, you do not need to be ashamed to tell the baby that you do not know or do not remember. It's not at all a shame. It is a shame not to strive for knowledge. Be sure to search the Internet for a topic that interests you, try to find information in books, meet competent people, finally. Teach your child to search for the necessary information and strive for knowledge, because it is so interesting.
Example
Sometimes a good example can motivate a child. Look around or even at yourself. Show your kid that people do not become successful and rich because money came from their parents or won the lottery (although this also happens). Often, success is about work, ingenuity, perseverance, and ingenuity. Explain to your child that he must learn and develop fully if he wants to achieve anything in the future. Be sure to show the opposite example - someone who did not study, did not receive any education, is forced to work for little pay, because a person does not know how to do something unique.
The main thing is not grades, but knowledge!
Stay up to date
Sometimes a child does not want to go to school, and for good reason. Perhaps he did not find a common language with the teacher, maybe he is offended by his peers, or for some reason he disgraced himself in front of his classmates. That is why you need to always be aware of what is happening with your child at school. To do this, be sure to regularly communicate with the class teacher, find out with whom your child is friends and communicates. But the most important thing is to build a trusting relationship with the child himself, not to intimidate or scold him when he says something. And then you will be the first to know about all the events and problems at school, up to romantic feelings for members of the opposite sex. This will allow you to respond quickly to problems, rather than waiting for peer harassment to turn into a complete reluctance to go to school.
Structure tasks
Sometimes a child does not want to learn, simply because everything seems difficult and impossible to him. Teach him to overcome these difficulties, for this you need to structure the tasks. Have you asked me to write an essay on music? First you need to find an interesting topic, read about it on the Internet, find a paper book in the library and take information from there. Perhaps you have a neighbor who worked at the conservatory, she will not refuse to add an essay interesting facts... It just sounds difficult, but when you break down a large task into small tasks, doing your homework isn't much of a problem.
Don't learn for a child
If the mother continues to help the child with homework until middle school, he does not have a sense of responsibility for his actions and actions. The child must understand that in the family, everyone fulfills their part of the responsibilities. Mom and Dad work, younger children go to kindergarten, grandmother prepares food, etc. And his job is to go to school and gain knowledge. When the child is able to take responsibility for homework himself, he will learn to allocate his time, he will be able to cope with the assigned tasks faster. Of course, you need to help the child with what he cannot do, but you should not completely control the process.
Encourage your child
Agree that you react much more violently to a deuce than to the grades and 4s that a child brings from school every day. Just because you are used to it. Be sure to praise your child, no matter how old he is. Say that this time he did better on the test, note the teacher's praise, tell everyone about the successes. It just seems like good grades should be the order of the day. But in fact, the child is very sensitive to rewards.
Do not compare
In no case, never compare the child with his classmates, older brothers and sisters. So you not only sow hostility, but also nurture an inferiority complex in him. Don't say that the neighbor on the desk had a better essay. Just ask your son what stopped him from writing the essay as well as he usually does.
Develop your child
This does not mean that the child should be sent to the first circle that comes across, which is located next to the house. Surely, the kid likes some subject, be it music, chemistry or mathematics. This is where your parenting responsibilities should apply. The child likes music - take him to a music school, help him choose an instrument, find a good teacher. If a child is keen on chemistry, you can buy him an encyclopedia and a small children's laboratory with special reagents - fortunately, now all this is available for sale. Mathematics is very useful in design - take your child to the "Young Technician" circle. Be sure to keep an eye on the baby and his hobbies, develop him according to his interests.
Biographies
The law of social psychology says - a child reaches out for his environment, does not want to lag behind the level of children who are nearby. Therefore, it is very important to choose a team where the baby will be. Motivation to study is a constant and daily task of parents, who must treat the child with understanding, love and patience, answer his questions, and support him in time. And then the training will be easy and interesting. And punishments, nagging and threats will not achieve anything - remember this.
The modern world is full of information, any specialist needs to constantly develop and improve if he wants to remain a professional in his field. Therefore, it is very important to motivate the child not to memorize the school curriculum, but to be able to find the necessary information in time, use it, quickly master new tools for work. And then he will grow up to be a successful and competitive specialist who is constantly moving forward.
Video: how to motivate your child to learn
We rarely think about intrinsic motivation. These are our sincere desires, and to explain our condition, one word is enough - “I want”. Children enjoy listening to the music of their favorite band, making something with their own hands, or reading adventure novels because they enjoy doing it.
Extrinsic motivation can be different - from pocket money to grades at school. It boils down to the phrase: "Do this, and you will get this."
Psychologist Alfie Cohn, in his book Punishment by Reward, warns not only parents, but also teachers against various rewards. Some parents promise to take their child to the zoo for good studies, others buy gadgets or even pay money. The problem is that it doesn’t work: the student is doing just as badly, and in addition, he is also offended that he did not receive what he was promised!
Teachers try to motivate in seemingly more noble ways: they introduce various titles (best student of the month), give indulgences to the good. Most often it happens like this: the same child becomes the best student of the month, and a narrow circle of schoolchildren, whose composition never changes, receives relief. Others just feel like failures.
Why extrinsic motivation doesn't work
When we say, “Do this and you will get this,” the child at first takes the promise with enthusiasm. Along with this, the instinct of self-preservation works for him.
The child begins to look not for a creative way of solving the problem, but for the most reliable and shortest one.
He asks himself: “Why take the risk and take the test yourself? It is better to write off from an excellent student, so it is more reliable. " It turns out that there is a substitution of goals: not study for the sake of knowledge, but study for the sake of receiving an award.
Extrinsic motivation can work great, but only in conjunction with intrinsic motivation. By itself, she does not move forward, but makes him "serve out the number", as soon as possible to get what you want, cursing what you are doing for this.
What influences interest in learning
Cohn identifies three factors that affect motivation:
- Small children are ready to learn and do not require anything for it. They have a highly developed intrinsic motivation: they learn simply because they are interested in it.
- Those children who have retained intrinsic motivation learn effectively. And the rest are considered incapable, but this is not so. Some schoolchildren receive solid deuces, but at the same time they prove themselves in other areas. For example, they know by heart dozens of songs of their favorite artist (but in algebra they cannot remember the multiplication table). Or they avidly read science fiction (while they don't touch classical literature). They are just interested. This is the essence of intrinsic motivation.
- Rewards destroy intrinsic motivation. Psychologists Carol Ames and Carol Dweck found that if parents or teachers place an emphasis on some kind of reward, then children's interest invariably decreases.
Where to begin
Getting motivated to study again is a long process, and success largely depends on the parents. Adults first of all need to think about the three Ss: content, cooperation and freedom of choice.
- Content. When a child does not comply with our request, we look for ways to influence his behavior. Start with something else: think about how reasonable your request is. Probably, nothing terrible will happen if in physics the child receives not only fours and fives. And children ignore the request “not to make noise” not because they are naughty, but because of the psychological characteristics of their age.
- Cooperation. Unfortunately, many parents are not familiar with this word in the context of communication with a child. But the older your children are, the more often you should involve them in cooperation. Discuss, explain, make plans together. Try to talk to your child like an adult. Do not take hostility to the desire of a 15-year-old boy to become an astronaut. Calmly explain why you think this is unrealistic. Perhaps your son will find an inner motivation for growth in your words.
- Freedom of choice. The child should feel like a part of the process, then he will be more responsible in solving problems. When he misbehaves, ask him why. You may argue that you already know what the matter is, but try it anyway. Perhaps the answer will surprise you!
Looking for intrinsic motivation
It is not easy to correct the inner state of a child, but still work in this direction can bear fruit.
- Learn to accept your child. For example, you may not like your daughter's new image, but you have to accept it. In other words, it's not about indulgence, it's about understanding.
- Have a heart-to-heart talk. If you and your child are close enough, just talk to get started. Ask what he is interested in and what problems arise in his studies. Find a way out of the situation together.
- Help your child decide on the job of life. Often there is no intrinsic motivation, because the child does not understand why he even needs these formulas, endless rules and theorems. It is important to decide what the child wants to do after school. Long conversations with parents and advice on career guidance will help to understand this, etc.
- Build the educational process on the hobbies of the child. In studying, you need to try to combine the child's sincere interests (intrinsic motivation) with school subjects. This process is individual and requires a lot of attention from the parents. For example, you can learn English using your favorite movies (there are even whole programs dedicated to cult films). And a teenager who loves computer games will certainly be carried away by programming and the sciences associated with it.
Pulling this intrinsic motivation out of the child is the task of the tasks. But for sensitive, thinking, sincerely interested parents, this will not be a problem.
Based on the book "Punishment by Reward".
The problem of lack of interest in learning is very relevant and often discussed, but, as in any aspect of education, it cannot be solved unambiguously. There are very different opinions on how to stimulate a child to learn, they all have a right to exist. What are the options?
1. Praise
The conditions are created in the family under which the child himself wants to learn. If a child appreciates the attitude of his parents, feels the love and respect of his loved ones, he perfectly understands how important his serious attitude to study is for them. And he knows that if something doesn't work out for him, there will always be adult support. In such a family, praise for good, high-quality study, and not for grades, means a lot, and serves as a good incentive to study.
2. Adequate self-esteem
Is an important point in increasing interest in learning. You need to teach the child to believe in himself and his strength,. “Everything will work out for you” - this attitude should be actively cultivated by the parents, then the student's attitude to the educational process will change.
3. Gifts
Gifts that the child has long dreamed of, or joint interesting trips organized by parents during the holidays can serve as an incentive for good studies and a worthy completion of the quarter.
4. The spirit of competition
A child's interest in learning appears when his self-esteem is hurt: “Am I worse than others? I can study as well as my best friend, girlfriend, brothers, sisters! " Stimulates interest in learning and the desire that appears with age to win the attention of a classmate or classmate. Parents need to do their best to support such a positive competitive impulse in their child.
5. Striving to achieve long-term goals
For an older age, a desire to acquire in the future can serve as an incentive, to continue learning further in accordance with their interests.
6. Encouragement with money
Recently, more and more often you can hear from parents that they encourage their children to study well with money. Many even weekly. Probably, this method can also be considered stimulating. But what happens then? The child seems to have an incentive, but not to acquire full-fledged knowledge, but to look for options for obtaining good grades. Any methods available to him are used: cheating, cheating, arguing with the teacher about the underestimated, in the child's opinion, grades.
Parents choosing this type of encouragement should understand that the child in this situation is most often driven by the most common calculation. Such incentives are unlikely to provide tangible benefits, especially morally. As a rule, they give money for parents, they do not need to be associated with studies. After all, you can have not very high marks in one subject, and, at the same time, with enthusiasm to master other favorite subjects of the school curriculum.
There are enough ways to stimulate a child to be interested, we emphasize, precisely for the interest in obtaining and assimilating new knowledge. Therefore, there is no need to transfer the educational process to business rails, evaluating good grades in monetary terms.
Reassure your child that learning is invaluable baggage that anyone needs. Such skill will certainly render invaluable service more than once in life.
How do children in your family feel about school?